WatsItLike

Inside ACME Tax Advisors, two tax-preparers worked in neighboring offices. One was a young but reserved CPA named Emily, who rarely spoke and spent her off-hours reading tax code.  In the other office was an older CPA named Brad, who spent his days leaning in the doorways of senior management, cup of coffee in hand, joking loudly.   

Emily was known for looking shabby, stumbling over her words, and changing her mind, but she approached her tax returns with humility and meticulousness, always striving to provide the best possible service to her clients, even if she rarely smiled or saw sunlight.

Brad, on the other hand, was brash and self-assured. He exuded confidence in everything he did, never writing anything down; instead, trusting his memory, often boasting about how quickly he prepared returns and claiming to have never made a mistake. His firm handshake and baritone voice won the trust of every client who crossed his path.  

One day, a wealthy businessman named Mr. Smith sought the services of both Emily and Brad contemporaneously to prepare his tax return. Mr. Smith had a complicated business, and what better way to ensure an accurate return than have two tax experts prepare it?  Despite the unusualness of the request, Emily and Brad both separately engaged to do business with Mr. Smith. 

Emily approached the tax return with her usual diligence, carefully examining every document and cross-referencing each figure to ensure accuracy.  Brad, however, adopted a more cavalier approach. He breezed through the data entry, relying on his gut instincts and quick calculations to complete the tax return in record time.

As the deadline for filing approached, Emily and Brad presented their versions of the return to Mr. Smith. Emily’s presentation was thorough and well-researched, but she was exhausted from sleepless nights, so her presentation was punctuated with pauses and false-starts.  She raised lots of questions but identified several potential deductions.  Unfortunately, her version of the return generated a balance due of $100.  When she was finished presenting, it was Brad’s turn to present his version of the return.  

Brad was supremely confident in his version, boldly proclaiming that his version would generate a $2,000 refund for Mr. Smith.  His calculations were infallible and he dismissed Emily’s questions and deductions as unnecessary nitpicking. 

Mr. Smith was impressed by Brad’s confidence. While Mr. Smith appreciated Emily’s willingness to ensure that his taxes were filed accurately and legally, her questions and recommendations, frankly, gave him a headache.  In the end, he decided to file Brad’s version of the Form 1120, which promised a refund. 

Three years passed. Right before the statute of limitations expired on the return, Mr. Smith received an audit letter in the mail from the IRS.  He was appalled. There was a tremendous balance due plus interest and penalties. He stormed into the offices of ACME Tax Advisors and demanded a meeting with Brad and Emily. He was flabbergasted to find out Brad had taken a promotion at a new company and could no longer be reached.  Emily was still in her same old office.  

“How can this be?” Mr. Smith said. He showed Emily the audit letter. “There better be a good explanation for this. Well?”

Emily took a deep breath, steeling herself for the conversation ahead. “Sir, the letter is correct. The IRS will come for the money you owe them.”

“Can you help me?” asked Mr. Smith.

“My fee for representing you in the audit process and resolving the issues with the IRS will be twenty-thousand dollars,” she said calmly.

Mr. Smith’s eyes widened in shock at the amount. “Twenty-thousand dollars.  That’s outrageous!” he exclaimed.

Emily maintained her composure. “Mr. Smith, three years ago you were in my office for six minutes, you had a blue scuff on your left sneaker, you said ‘hopefully’ thirteen times, and you were wearing a Casio watch, whereas now you’re wearing a Rolex. Will you be paying by check again?”