WatsItLike

One night, in a cave under Hedonia lived a mild-mannered accountant named Alan Ledger, who was sitting in the glow of a computer screen, on which was a spreadsheet with a pivot table dedicated to Dr. Dealmaker’s misdeeds: tax evasion, bullying IRS agents, fraud, and being super disorganized.  An email notification chimed.  It was from the commissioner of the Hedonia Police Department and it said Dr Dealmaker was planning something vile for the final night of the World Expo, which was taking place in Hedonia. Tonight.

In the bustling city of Hedonia, where streets were bathed in a perpetual glow of neon lights and opulent skyscrapers pulsated with EDM music to fill the ears of unrestrained partyers in business suits and skirts, money exchanged hands in harmony with the dance moves with total disregard for accounting principles.  It was a place where the pursuit of pleasure was not just a pastime but an art form, even at the office.  And the World Expo had the potential to spread those values to other countries.

 Of all the criminals prowling Hedonia, Dr. Dealmaker was the worst.  He was head of sales for Global Corporation, and, armed with a sleek briefcase that transformed into a high-tech antenna capable of emitting persuasive frequencies, Dr. Dealmaker had, for the past few years, visited every office building in the Hedonia to brainwash businesspeople into burning their pencils, paper, and receipts and deleting all relatively boring computer files in an effort to make the world simpler.  The Commissioner said Dr. Dealmaker was going to release persuasive brainwaves during the closing ceremony of the expo, unless Accountingman could stop it.

 By day, Alan Ledger navigated the intricate world of numbers and balance sheets as the owner of the prestigious firm, Fiscal Guardians, Inc.  But as the sun dipped below the horizon, Alan transformed into a nocturnal guardian with a secret identity: Accountingman. 

With a swift motion, Alan Ledger shut down his computer, donned his Accountingman costume, and leaped out of his cave.  In his utility belt he carried a boomerang calculator, a ninja star credit card, and a ruler that was kind of sharp on one edge. 

The city’s neon lights reflected off his sleek accountingmobile, as he cruised through the bustling streets towards the World Expo venue.  The rhythmic beats of the city’s nightlife accompanied the rev of the engine, as he weaved through traffic.

As Accountingman arrived at the Expo, he saw the crowds immersed in a grand celebration: fireworks, strobe lights, a children’s chorus, world leaders, and crowds.  All were completely unaware of the impending danger.  Dr. Dealmaker’s henchmen were hidden in the shadows under the stage, and upon his signal would unleash his persuasive brainwaves, intending to simplify the world by erasing all complexities, including legal and financial regulations.

Dr. Dealmaker approached the podium on the Expo’s main stage.  The henchmen beneath the stage were poised to press a button to broadcast his brainwashing frequencies. 

As the accountingmobile entered the rear entrance of the stadium, the commissioner’s message echoed in Accountingman’s mind: “Stop Dr. Dealmaker and save Hedonia from a future devoid of debits and credits!”  In a dazzling display of acrobatics, Accountingman threw the accountingmobile into a sideways skidding stop and simultaneously leapt out and descended upon the stage, surprising Dr. Dealmaker and his henchmen.  A fierce battle ensued, with Accountingman using his calculator boomerang to knock out the antenna of the brief case and prevent the persuasive frequencies from reaching the crowds and thereby disrupting the villain’s plan.

Amidst the chaos, the crowd became aware of how hand-wavy their business dealings had become, and their pleasure-seeking revelry transformed into a unified front against Dr. Dealmaker’s attempt to simplify their lives forcibly.  The citizens, fueled by a desire for the richness of life that complexity brought, resisted the henchmen with punches and tackles and sick dance moves.

Accountingman, with unwavering determination, confronted Dr. Dealmaker at the epicenter of the chaos.  The hero smacked the villain upside the head with a professional ethics textbook.  Knocked out cold, Dr. Dealmaker was handcuffed by the police.  The crowd erupted in cheers as the commissioner shook the hand of Accountingman and thanked him for his detail-orientedness.

Alan Ledger, the unassuming accountant by day and Accountingman by night, had once again ensured that the city’s balance, not just in finances but in the very essence of pleasure and responsibility, remained intact.  The people of Hedonia could continue their pursuit of joy without sacrificing the intricate tapestry of accounting rules that made business gloriously boring.